Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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