so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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