Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
