just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
