He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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