I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
