Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
