I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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