Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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