let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
