So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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