I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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