if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
