they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I will be naked everywhere
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize