Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
