whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
