a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I met the friendliest cop last night
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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