its not stalking. its research.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
