susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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