What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
