The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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