really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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