....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
