Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
