Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
