He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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