Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
