Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
