Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize