I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
