Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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