coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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