just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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