I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
