The maid of honor just puked.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
