I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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