five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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