At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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