but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize