I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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