trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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