Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
