You're my little dorito
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
id be glad to
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
