I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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