I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
