my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
