Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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