Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
