Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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