I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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