i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
