its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize