if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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