There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
is wine microwaveable?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
