I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize