you have to choose: penises or morals?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
