You're so nebulous sometimes
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
