The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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