I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
