he puts the penis in happiness.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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