16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
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