i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
