What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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