she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
