i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize