You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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