lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
