So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize