what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
