since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
