Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
